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mizukagami
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Name: Azumi
Country: Canada
Birthday: 1/14/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: ::reading::drawing::reading/watching anime(^-^)::writing::working on my not-yet-up site::making wallpapers::listening to music of all sorts::singing::dreaming::
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
6/16/2003
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| Why do they do this to me?? She always says that I only talk about who-likes-who, that I shouldn't focus on it so much, that she knows it's normal, blah blah blah. Why can't she understand that it's the ONLY thing that I can talk to her about? I can't talk to her about anime, she doesn't see why I like it, I can't talk to her about yaoi/shounen-ai cuz she's "old-fashioned" and doesn't approve. I can't talk to her about schoolwork since that's BORING. I'm TRYING to introduce her to my life, as much as I can. We are 15/16 year olds! Even if MY focus isn't on crushes and rumors and such, it's the focus of a LOT of other people!
If I'm CONSTANTLY surrounded by it, I can't suddenly say, "Oh, do you celebrate this?" or "Do you have pets?"! We have to GO WITH THE CONVERSATION!! Why can't she see that?
Sometimes I try, I really REALLY try to be myself when answering her questions, but I just can't. Especially not when she's lecturing me. When she does, I get all rebellious and say things that I only half-belief, or say things in a way that I know she'll misunderstand. SO you know what? I give up. I don't care. I don't freaking care anymore. She can think what she wants of me, and I'll do what I've always done. I don't need her to understand me anyway. | | |
| I'm still upset about Buddy, but there is some good news right now. I've finally convinced my mom to take me to Victoria to see the Eternal Egypt Exhibition!! So now, I'm doing the researching on it. It's in Victoria though, so we might have to stay there a night since we live in Richmond. The admission fee is expensive, but I think it'll be worth it. I can't believe I'll be going! It's like a dream...
Well, I went to Brainchild today. I'm redoing some trig while I'm waiting for my chem teacher to come back from his vacation. I saw the booklet and was o_o what is that? Needless to say, I've forgotten everything. But you can hardly blame me, since I did it at least two years ago. So that was embarassing. Especially when one of the teachers that knew me longer asked me if I needed help. ><
--azumi | | |
| My mom just called me and told me that our dog, Buddy, has internal bleeding and that she and my dad decided to put him down.
Just the day before yesterday we were walking him. We were all wondering why he won't eat. He was going on a field trip with his social class next Sunday! He has a social class this Sunday. We bought a seatbelt for him to go on the field trip. He had an eye infection, so he wouldn't be able to swim when we went to the lake on the field trip. It was just a day or two ago.
Yesterday morning, when I was still asleep, my mom discovered that he could barely walk. Buddy tried! He tried so hard to go upstairs, to get up. Mom woke up dad and they took him to the vet/hospital. Buddy's doctor there already knew that something was seriously wrong the moment they got there.
Later that day, at six at night, the doctor called dad to tell him what they've found. It turns out that Buddy's kidney isn't working anymore, and that his liver wasn't really working either. He also had too many white blood cells and too little red blood cells in his blood. Like leukemia. To make it worse, the cancer that we fought off came back. The doctor suspects that there's a tumor in the kidney.
Even in all that pain, Buddy still got up (though very slowly and painfully) at the hospital to go to the bathroom. He fought off cancer before. Twice! He had his lower jaw shortened by one and a half inches because that's where the cancer was. He's so strong and brave. He never complained or whined. He always had that stupid grin on his face.
But this morning, the doctor called us and told us that Buddy has internal bleeding. It's not so bad that he's bleeding everywhere, but his stomach is bloated enough to tell. Mom and dad talked about it for a long time, and they decided to put him down. Even if Buddy made the small chance and he recovers and comes home, he won't be here long. He's already nine. Even as I write this, he's not here anymore.
The one thing I regret is that I never showed him I've finally accepted him. When we adopted him, we also adopted a cat. I never liked him. But the last week or two, he finally won me over. But I never got a chance to tell him or to show it.
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| Why can't they just leave me alone? I know it's not fair that I'm upset when they take the time to fly over here to visit us, but I don't want to deal with their crap. It's enough for me to deal with my parents and with the complications with my grandma moving. I do NOT want to deal with another relative who still treat me like I'm a kid. Granted, my body is 15. But that does not mean that I am that age mentally! Gods, I'm more adult than some of them! I just want some time alone, some time to be myself by myself! Is that so much to ask?? | | |
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Your soul is STEADFAST. You are a fiercely loyal
person who would never cross a loved one.
People always know they can rely on you and
your dependability is well-known. You're
probably a little on the quiet side, but your
faithfulness is never doubted, and you always
back up your kith and kin whether they want or
need it or not. You are a dependable and
trusted soul.
What Is Your Soul's Trait?
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